It is possible…
To never hate your body again!
I know you’re normally accustomed to reading things like “help your tween and teen love their body”, but today I am talking to you!
Why? Because the number one thing that will help your tween or teen develop body confidence is if you yourself model body confidence around her.
And, rather than fumbling along in the fake it ’till you make it struggle bus, allow me to help you develop the skills to love yourself fo’ real.
Buckle up (the bus metaphor continues), we’re in for a …. smooth ride!
You were waiting for me to say bumpy ride! I knew it! But the truth is I am going to give you a super easy strategy so it should be a fairly smooth and easy ride.
Why do so many of us struggle with self love?
Because literally society requires us to! Yes, our consumer culture is constructed specifically to make us feel like absolute poo. Why? Because when we feel like crap, we can be sold items to help us feel better.
It’s hard to sell a beauty solution to someone who doesn’t believe they have beauty problems.
(And um….could I meet this person who doesn’t have beauty problems because I would like to bottle up that confidence and give it away for free to everyone I meet)
Here’s how the industry works:
Beauty has to be a moving target. It has to constantly shift so that you can never achieve the ideal. Once you achieve it, it changes. Have you noticed that flat butts were once the rage and now bedecks are in??
Have you noticed that curves have taken the place of the waiter thin of the 90’s?
Have you noticed that we’re all furiously drawing on thick eyebrows even though in grade 6 we all plucked the crap outta them because razor thin arches were all the rage?
Wait…you didn’t do that???
So how do we combat this system? How do we have the courage to love ourselves in a world that wants us to not feel good enough??
Here are two truths and one effective strategy:
Truth #1: Beauty and attractiveness are not the same thing. Beauty is arbitrary, always changing, and subjective. Attractiveness is your essence. No matter what you look like, whether you meet the current “standard” or not, you can have immense attractiveness that draws people to you and makes people desire you. You just have to own it!
Truth #2: When people own their attractiveness, they are perceived as more beautiful!! You all know someone like this who walks in a room and all eyes are on them because they just have immense confidence and know their worth. Well science has shown that having this confidence actually changes the way people look at you. They rate you are more physically appealing!
OMG great so how do I develop that confidence?? Sign me up!
Strategy: It’s simple. Focus on the things about yourself that you love!
Those people that have confidence? They aren’t immune to bad days or moments of insecurity. They aren’t faking it either. They are just focusing on the things about them that are amazing. And they know that when you focus on those things and highlight them, that it’s super easy to go into the world like “Bam, look at me!!”.
When you focus on what you don’t like, you can get stuck thinking of only those things. And that would drag anyone down. So instead, of “I hate my stomach” say “I love my arms”.
It’s not a lie. You don’t have to convince yourself of something you don’t believe. It’s a 100% true thing about you. Own it.
And if you do this, your teen will notice and it will teach them to love themselves first and foremost too.